Edited September 2024: I wrote this post eight years ago, when my oldest had just turned six years old. I really did think when I wrote it that by the time my oldest had reached an age where he could use social media, the platforms and safety features in place would be completely different. Well, not only is Instagram still around, it’s still just as popular as ever. And even though features and safety measure change almost daily, I stand by why I wrote back in 2016. Our son just started high school and to be able to communicate with him after his sports practices, we purchased him a “dumb phone”. It only calls and texts–you know, what a phone should be doing. Interested in getting your child a “not so” smart device? Read to the end and I’ll share the company we started using a few years ago. And now, here’s why I’m a believer in no Instagram for kids.
why I stand by “no Instagram for kids”
I fully expect to get some eye rolls over this one, maybe even several eye rolls. Depending on how strongly people feel about social media, I may even get some hatorade thrown my way. But this is something I have been thinking about for awhile and felt like I should share. This post might come as a surprise to many people. After all, I’ve been on Instagram for years as a blogger and it’s definitely my favorite form of social media. But like everything in life, there is good and bad, there are pros and cons, and there is darkness and light. I am a firm believer that kids should not be on social media, and honestly, I’m glad my husband isn’t either.
to protect their privacy online
Mike and I try to be very careful about sharing our personal lives on social media. You will never hear us mention our children’s names on Facebook—even our personal accounts. I have even deleted a few comments in the past when a person we know in real life used one of my children’s names. Please know it was nothing personal, I’m just trying to respect their privacy and keep them safe!
| Read: Best Practices to Keep Kids Safe Online |
It’s true that there are privacy settings and different safety regulations in place for a reason, but the truth of the matter is once something is online it’s out there–forever. It’s out of your hands and anyone can do anything with it. There are hackers, there are thieves, and there are sickos who are, unfortunately, also pretty computer-savvy. Read about our experience with this in this blog post. Even with private accounts or special settings, you have almost zero control over what a friend-of-a-friend-of-a-friend may see—and what they may do with that information. I don’t want you to think I am some doom-and-gloom, paranoid, conspiracy theorist. I do think Instagram (and other social media) has the power to be such a positive influence on the world and share so much goodness! But there are two sides to that coin.
no Instagram for kids mental health
It’s a jungle out there. When I first wrote this blog post eight years ago I didn’t even include this paragraph on mental health because it has gotten so much worse. And as much as it affects adults, it affects children much more. Did you know that the brain continues to mature and develop into a person’s mid to late twenties? That’s one of the reasons why younger children and teenagers don’t handle difficult situations the same way that adults often do or are able to. I firmly believe in no Instagram for kids because I think for kids no good comes from it. Or at least–so minimal good that it completely outweighs the potential negative aspects. I realize that we can’t shield our kids forever, but expecting them to handle a constant barrage of online bullying if their peers decide that’s what they want, is no way to “teach them the hardships of life.” Kids need to be having real life interaction with their friends, not behind a screen.
to protect their childhood
Let’s be clear–I am referring to Instagram in this post, but this pretty much applies to social media in general. There is one thing in particular that makes me sick to my stomach about Instagram, and that is pornography. I never would have thought I would type that word on this blog, but there it is. Pornography seems to be rampant on Instagram and you don’t even have to search it out, it will come looking for you.
The day I realized this was when I searched a hashtag I had used for a picture I’d posted so I could interact with other people posting about the same thing. A very common thing to do, especially in the blogging community. After all, that’s why hashtags were implemented in the first place. It was a completely innocent hashtag, one I would have never thought would lead to pornographic pictures, but it did. After the first dozen or so images of cute kids, there it was. Actually, there they were, because there were several images of that nature. I quickly looked away, literally covered my hand over the screen, and then through half shut eyelids reported them inappropriate and then clicked away. Hashtags are being used to spread pornographic images to unsuspecting people and there is very little you can do to protect yourself.
Audio you can add to Reels and posts on Instagram are the same way. There have been songs I’ve wanted to use before, but when I look at the audio page I’m disgusted by some of the content on the grid. I don’t want my content associated with things like that!
no Instagram for kids is what’s right for our family
You might think I’m being silly and overreacting to something that is common-place and everyday. But I will stand on the roof tops and shout that you are wrong. Pornography can be addictive and destroy families. It has done it time and again and will continue to do so. This is not a naive or close-minded thought, it is the simple truth. And because you know I’m a lover of infographics, check out this one. When we spend our time, thoughts, and emotions on pornographic images, it does nothing but whittle away at our real relationships and our own feelings of self-worth.
no Instagram for kids… or my husband
Now, let me clarify–this is purely his choice. My husband just detests all social media and has no desire to manage his own social media accounts. And the reason I’m glad that my husband doesn’t have an Instagram account is not because I don’t trust him. I wholeheartedly do. But I also know that we should never put ourselves in harm’s way. Here’s an analogy–at the zoo there’s a reason the lion is behind safeguards. Pornography is one of the worst harms that there is. It is far-reaching and can come cleverly disguised. And when I say that my children will never have an Instagram account let me be clear–if your children do have an Instagram account I’m not judging you. Everyone has to do what they feel is best for their own family. Likewise, I have the right to teach my children the dangers of it while trying to safeguard them as best I can without being ridiculed for being overbearing.
I will continue to try and fill my square with all the pretty and goodness I can, and I encourage you to as well! But be smart, be aware, be vigilant.
How do you feel about Instagram and social media?
If you’re on Instagram and you’re all about good vibes, you can find me here.
31 Responses to no Instagram for my kids… or my husband
I think it is a great idea to guard what is shared and how. For each person, the sense of security is different, and you have to do what you feel is best. The hardest part is standing up for what you believe, so kudos to you!
I totally agree with you Erin! Everyone is different and everyone’s situation is different. Thank you so much for your sweet comment!
Have you always been careful about using your kids’ names? I would LOVE to go back and make nicknames for them on my blog, but doing that now would take so much work. (hmmm i wonder if there’s an amazing plugin for that). Along the same lines of staying off of IG, Pinterest is also another place to think about. My husband has a pinterest account, and even though 99% of his feed is full of woodworking stuff, hand tools, and projects, just last night he was like “WHOA!” and when I looked over, there was a VERY scantily dressed woman. He flagged it, but still…HOW DID IT GET THERE?! Ugh. So sad! Lol, he told me later he was sad that picture took the spot of a hand tool.
Yes Jess, I’ve never used their names. I actually used to be even more selective about pictures and things than I am now. We already had a private family blog so my husband and I had already made decision about what we would and wouldn’t share online. There should be some kidn of plug-in that you could use to replace certain words with other words, that would be awesome!
And yes, it’s everywhere. I was actually just on a webpage last night, I can’t remember which one but it was totally innocent, and one of the sidebar ads showed something completely inappropriate! I was like, what’s going on?!
It really is a scary world out there and social media allows us to invite that into our homes. I struggle with making my Instagram private for personal reasons and keeping it public for blog reasons. So I totally get it….
It is hard for each of us to determine what steps we want to take to protect ourselves as best we can, for sure. I totally understand the struggle of private vs. public accounts, it’s so hard as a blogger to put ourselves out there, but also keep a part private for security reasons!
Great post! I get so frustrated when I see pornographic images come up on Instagram. And I come from it personally where my husband used to deal with it (prior to our marriage), and it is so sneaky and everywhere!
I don’t think I will let my children use it either, but my husband and I have made a pack to make sure we are open to our children and answer any questions and tell them about the wickedness out there so we can help keep them away from it!
I have recently been feeling the need to slow down my social media use which I have felt more.uplifted doing too! Social media can really wear you down and consume you!
I think it’s great you are sharing about this! I have had the same exact experiences, its so sad that pornography is being spread in this way, where we use innocent hashtags or searches. I think many would benefit by being more careful on social media and guarding ourselves and our families. Thanks for talking out about this – it is so important!!!
Oh Gosh I know… I would be very sad if my husband saw all of that freely given porn down there…
Privacy is very important too… but I still do love using Instagram for myself… and I try to be careful as I can.
My MIL had her IG account flooded with obscene images when one of her friends accounts was hacked, so horrible. I applaud your vigilance to your kids safety!
Oh yuck, that is so sad to me Whitney! Thanks for your comment.
I feature my family especially my kids, husband, even my dog on my social media accounts and blog often but lately I have been worried about safety since I have started hearing about more and more bloggers not featuring their kids or using aliases. You make some very good points. My husband isn’t on Instagram either and he limits Facebook luckily but I do worry about the scary stuff out there.
It is so hard to know what to share and not to share online! That’s why everyone just needs to make the best decision for themselves and decide where to draw the line. There is a lot of scary stuff out there, but a lot of good too. 🙂
Super insightful post. My boyfriend doesn’t use Instagram (as in he hasn’t posted since June of last year) and I’ve been encouraging him to use it more in a tasteful manner. As my business partner and photographer, I think he could complement the blog by sharing his awesome pictures. He also works in Hollywood and gets to do some really special things in the move industry. I do know that if we had kids, they wont be on there. It is important to stay smart about what you share and what you put out to the world. It’s not a diary but a marketing tool and a collection of you. xo 🙂
Our family really isn’t big into the social media thing. I do use it for my blog but not for personal use. My family likes their privacy and I do not post them or their names on any social media or the blog.
I am glad to hear from people that I am not alone in my concerns Jenn. I know some people disagree with me, but that’s okay! Like I said, everyone just has to make the best choice for themselves. Thanks for your comment!
I feel like pornography has taken over a lot of social media. I never run into it, but I’ve heard of lots of people who do. It’s terrible!
I’ve never had that happen! But it’s good to be aware of the dangers of social media!
I think youre being very wise and responsible 🙂
XO Ellen from Ask Away
http://www.askawayblog.com
Thanks so much for your sweet comment Ellen!
You have to do what works for you and your family. We agree to disagree with certain things. But keep doing you.
I definitely agree that you have to do whatever works for you! Which was sort fo the point of my post but some people seem to have glazed over hat bit, lol. Thanks so much for your understanding comment.
YES! It’s so hard to keep from images like that – especially on social media. My husband even had to delete his pinterest account since, even though he was being careful who he followed, inappropriate images were popping up in his feed. It’s a crazy world we live in!
Somebody else was mentioning that about their husband’s Pinterest account! That’s crazy, I’ve never had anything inappropriate show up there. Just goes to show that it will find you anywhere!
Hi Justine,
I do not have an Instagram account though I do have Facebook one. When you run a business, there is nothing good about letting your personal life being exposed. Think on a bigger scale, how celebrities try to protect their identities dearly along with their significant others. Not everyone is benevolent so we all better keep our eyes open. Great post, thank you!
Zaria
Yes, yes, and yes!! It’s crazy (and sad) what people post on IG. I’ve had friends that had their kids photos removed for things like them being in the bath (of course not showing anything at all) but then you see half naked girls all the time and for some reason that is okay! Um, no!
Agreed, I don’t really understand why some things are reported and other things aren’t. I personally don’t post pictures of my own kids half dressed or in baths, but that’s purely a personal choice because I don’t want someone to rip their pictures off and do something weird with them, not because there’s anything inherently wrong with them!
Oh goodness, I am so glad you stopped by my blog and mentioned this article. The “haterade” thing had me rolling 🙂 This is a fantastic post! Kudos to you for speaking up about this. <3
Thank you so much for your sweet comment Rebecca! I am so glad you enjoyed it, have a wonderful week! 🙂
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