I’m sure you are all aware of the heartache that has filled our news feeds the past few weeks. You would literally have to be living under a rock without a smartphone in sight to have not heard of a boy falling into a gorilla enclosure, a mass shooting in Orlando, or a tragic accident involving a two-year-old boy and an alligator.
Other than the sadness over lives lost, these incidents don’t appear to have much in common. However, if you dig a little deeper you will find that they all do have one major thread that ties them all together.
Condemnation.
Condemnation is the evil stepmother to judgment. Whereas making judgments to some degree is not necessarily a bad thing, when we condemn someone we are acting as judge, jury, and executioner. That is not our job, and we should be so thankful of that.
It’s human nature to be curious. It’s human nature to be confused, to be concerned, and even to be outraged. But there is a difference between concern and condemnation.
Just stop it.
It has been said a thousand different ways by a multitude of voices:
“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”
“Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.”
“If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”
“People in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.”
When a four-year-old child fell into a gorilla enclosure at a zoo and the gorilla had to be put down, people were quick to place blame. “If the mother had been more observant.” “If the zoo had better safeguards.” “If we didn’t even have zoos in the first place.”
Maybe one of these things is true, maybe all of them, maybe none of them. We don’t know. We weren’t there. (I won’t go into the lunacy behind the argument against all zoos and aquariums; that’s not the point of this post.) I even read one comment from someone who placed the blame on the four-year-old child who had the audacity to fall in. What?! I have a four year old myself and the thought of someone holding a child her age responsible for what happened at the Cincinnati Zoo almost makes my blood boil. They are children. I’m not saying they can do no wrong, but let’s keep things in perspective people.
Just stop it.
After the mass shooting at Pulse Nightclub in Orlando a Sacramento Baptist Preacher spouted out some vile hate speech in a sermon. I won’t go into details because I don’t want to add to his 15 seconds of fame. What he said is despicable. But maybe what’s worse is that afterwards I heard that other groups were going to “protest” his next sermon.
Oh, that’s great people. Rather than letting what he said fall to the wayside as he fades back into obscurity let’s add fuel to the fire. Let’s fight hate and bigotry with, um, oh, how about more hate. Sounds like a plan.
Just stop it.
The headline that has hit hardest with me has been the two-year-old who was drowned by an alligator while his family was on vacation at Disney World. Even as I type this I feel sick, my heart heavy in my chest. I have a two-year-old and I know how she can be. Being a parent is tough and even when you are most attentive terrible things can happen. When I heard about this happening my first feeling was compassion. I never knew that I could experience so much love and empathy for a complete stranger. I held my toddler that night and I wept.
So imagine my surprise when I heard that their family was getting backlash for what had happened to their son. This family is going through the worst pain imaginable and at the same time are being poked and prodded with harsh words and judgments.
Just stop it.
Times of trouble, times of heartache, times of uncertainty, they should bind us together and make us stronger. They should bring out the best in us, not the worst. We should offer compassion, not enmity. There seems to be a common misconception that everyone has to agree with everyone else about everything. Would you like to know a secret? We can disagree with someone, adamantly even, and still love them. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing. We can have different beliefs and opinions and still care about each other and treat one another with compassion.
I want to be clear that I’m not saying that everything is an accident, that no one is ever at fault for anything. I’m not saying that we should just quietly sit by and let truly terrible things happen. But maybe, just maybe, we should love a little more. In today’s world it is so easy to be self-righteous and all-knowing, sitting behind the safety of our computer screens and smartphones. But as you’re watching something unfold that you feel you know so much about perched in your chair halfway around the country or world, before you say, “I’d never…” or “I always…”…
Just stop it.
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18 Responses to just stop it
This is so so true. We need to understand that life is hard and people make mistakes, we just need to support and love one another and know that you never know the full story until you’ve walked a mile in someone else’s shoes. The two year old at Disney breaks my heart!
Greta | http://www.gretahollar.com
Exactly Greta. It’s all so sad and tearing each other down doesn’t do anyone any good.
This made me tear up, honestly. I feel like this really hit home especially in light of everything going on.
Thanks for your sweet comment Taylor.
Very well written and heartfelt.
Thank you Cate, appreciate you stopping by.
I saw a meme the other day that said “A little less judgement. A little more love.” I love your perspective 🙂
Exactly, I think I’ve seen something like that myself. Thank you.
Accidents happen. Life happens. If it’s not you or me, it’s someone else it could be happening to. I wish people would be kinder and less quick to point a finger of blame.
Definitely Stephanie, I love what you said, “if it’s not you or me, it’s someone else”. So true! I wish people would realize that no one is immune to tragedy.
What a beautiful message. I cannot imagine what the families are going through at this moment, but I’m so proud of all those who stand united to make a change in their community and among those around them.
Agreed Fatima, thank you for your thoughtful comment.
In our world of social media, it’s so easy to sit anonymously behind a computer, point fingers and place blame until something happens in your own family. All these events have been absolutely heartbreaking. I love your beautiful article and so agree. Just stop it. Let’s all try having some empathy instead of just hate and blame.
Thank you so much for your sweet comment Paula. Agreed, let’s love more.
Great post! So much heartache in the world lately. Praying so hard for them all.
Thank you so much Crystal! Lots of prayers from us as well.
I agree completely! There is still so much heartache in our world. You’ve written a beautiful post. Thanks for sharing.
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[…] I get so annoyed when I see negativity on someone’s post, especially when it’s sponsored. And I don’t just mean outright trolling. That’s a whole other can of worms. But I can’t tell you how many times I’ve read a friend’s comment on a sponsored post and although they’re not saying anything outright negative, their comment would definitely come across negatively to a brand! Thumper’s mother said it best–“If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” […]