It saddens me that this is something that needs to be addressed.
Also, it shocks me that this is the second time I’ve felt the need to bring this up in less than a year.
The other night I was going through my Instagram notifications and I noticed someone had tagged me in the comments of a random photo… hmmm. I quickly looked at the photo and gave it a like since it was a sweet photo of a momma and her little one but didn’t give much thought into why I was tagged in the comments. I was being distracted by my hangry children so it wasn’t until I had the time to continue scrolling though my notifications that I saw this same person had tagged me and a few other ladies in a condescending comment on someone else’s page.
Few things ruffle my feathers like condescension.
I don’t engage in disputes on social media, it’s absolutely pointless and I don’t want to give anyone the satisfaction. So I have a strict “one and done” rule–I share my opinion on the matter and I’m done. I try really hard to stick to my rule and the couple of times I haven’t I always get disappointed in myself that I stooped to someone else’s level. In this case, I felt the need to stick up for this poor other blogger, who had put so much work and love into a post only to have someone come along and pick it apart. I crafted a firm, short response and tried my best to be nice about it; and when she responded back I didn’t feel the need to add fuel to the fire so I let it go.
Or at least I tried to, but I couldn’t stop thinking about it.
I’m sure we’ve all been there. There have been many times that I’ve scrolled through my Instagram feed and stopped on a square that made me cringe. Maybe there’s an adorable baby strapped in a car seat wearing a big coat with the crossbar way too low. Or maybe it’s a shot of someone who appears to be in the driver’s seat while they’re taking a picture with their phone.
Here’s the thing folks, we see such a small snippet when we’re viewing a picture on social media. We’re really only seeing what someone wants us to see. So the fact that a mom posted a picture that maybe looks unsafe to you, might just be because she was trying to quickly stage a shot in her 10 seconds of spare time. And just because it looks like someone is driving unsafely, doesn’t mean that they’re not pulled over.
And just because you’re seeing a tiny square of someone’s life doesn’t mean you’re an expert on it.
I believe Thumper’s mom said it best when she said, “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”
There is such an opportunity in the world of social media to be good and spread kindness. There are so many wonderful things about blogging and social media and the ease with which we can share our thoughts and lives with others. So please, of all the things to be, choose to be kind.
On the note of kindness, I have some exciting news to share with you! I’m so excited to share that my friend Emily and I have started a new Facebook group, and I like to think that kindness is part of the foundation of it. Emily and I both love social media and all the good that it has to offer; we love the connections we’ve made through blogging and how much we’ve learned. But there’s also a darker side that we’re not fans of. There are those that are catty, or only “in it for themselves”. After both being in several different Facebook groups over time we’ve learned the things we like and the things we don’t like. Below is a snippet of our group description, if you’re a blogger and it sounds like something you’re looking for, we’d love to have you!
This is a place to help grow your own online community and form genuine relationships with other bloggers within your niche… We all pour a lot of heart and hard work into our posts. We want honesty, but we’d also like to follow the rule of “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all”…
You might have noticed that I like using the word fellowship quite a bit. First with the Friday Fellowship chat that I co-host, now with this group, and with another special project I’m working on that I’ll be sharing next week. I love the word fellowship so much more than just group. The definition of fellowship is “a friendly association, especially with people who share one’s interests” and that’s what I hope this group will be for us, a place for us to form friendships where we can build each other up and support each other in our efforts. Threads are starting today and we hope to see you there!
17 Responses to some thoughts on kindness
I love that you’re doing this! Thank you for always being a force for good!
It’s so true…kindness is so important. It makes such a difference.
THANK YOU for this. Seriously. I needed to read this on a day when I’m questioning WHY I’ve been blogging for the last 9 years… 🙁 I’ve requested to join your group!
So sweet! I was nodding my head the whole time while reading your post. I totally agree with everything you were saying! I just requested to join your group! Great post!
XOXO
Your Redlocks and Shamrocks Girl,
Lisa Doyle
http://www.redlocksandshamrocks.com
This group looks lovely! I also very much appreciate your vote for me!
Beautifully written.
PS: I’ve joined your group 🙂
I love this! Idk why people find joy in being mean. There’s no reason for it and it’s so time consuming. I’m in the camp of “hurt people hurt people”.
Very well said, but it makes me sad that you even had to write this. People are so quick to put each other down and I hate that. A little kindness goes a long way!!
Preach it, mama! Goodness- i’m guilty of this myself sometimes. Constantly repenting for being judgemental.
Your fellowship group sounds wonderful, would love to join.
I cant lie, I wish someone would troll on my blog so I would know they had an opinion or were engaged! I know be careful what you wish for and in reality we should just encourage etc. I am going to look for your group on FB!
Love this and you are so right! I have a burden for social media bullying or ugliness, there is just no need for it. I appreciate what you and your friend are starting with your FB group. We need kindness over ugliness and community over competition!
So I have never read that first quote but goodness gracious do I like it. It IS always possible. It may be hard but it is possible.
I love your one and done rule. I’m going to use it myself. I rarely get into social media arguments, but when I feel so compelled to do it, I resist the urge to actually post it. I can’t tell you how many angry and well-written arguments have been typed but not published. I opt out, because ultimately I want to be a force of kindness in this world, like you, and an example of peace.
Thank you thank you thank you! This world needs more kindness and I really admire what you’re doing as a blogger and Facebook admin to encourage that! 🍑
I love this! I hate getting into it with people, especially online when words seem to come out so much more mean. I think your one and done rule is a great way to handle things. Also, I’m excited to be part of your new group!
Yes! I feel like there’s always a way to respectfully expression your opinion, even if it’s different than someone else’s. And sometimes, you don’t have to agree!
Do I just click “Join Group” for the Facebook group?
Yes! Once you find the group just click on the green “join group” button. Thanks Shirley!