Every year I talk about Simplifying the Season and every year I get comments from people about it. They seem to think that when I say simplify I’m talking about taking something away or doing less. Then I get angry outcries of “but you’re taking away the magic for your children!” or “but we like our holiday traditions, it’s only once a year!” But I’m not really talking about doing away with your beloved traditions or stripping Christmas down to the bare-bones Grinch style. The word simplify really means to make something easier. For me that means I try and keep my focus on three things: our family, our traditions, and our Savior. If our holiday shenanigans aren’t focused on those three things, then why are we stressing out about them?

a Christmas tree trip gone wrong

Last week on Black Friday we did what we’ve done the past three years–we drove out to cut down our own Christmas tree. We’ve done it different ways over the years either going out into the National Forest or to a local tree farm. Either way, it’s a tradition we’ve come to look forward to as a family and something that brings us closer on that day as we find the perfect tree together and then warm up with hot cocoa afterwards.

Then comes Black Friday 2019. We drove caravan-style out to our favorite tree farm with 24 family members total. We were so excited to share our traditional tree-hunting trip with everyone… except we hadn’t planned on the snow. I knew it would be cold. I knew there’d be some snow. But I had no idea there would be so much. And no one was adequately prepared.

so. much. snow.

Don’t get me wrong, everything was gorgeous. Soft, light, fluffy flakes were gently drifting around as we were hunting. Everything was covered in light powder… except for some pathways that were covered in slippery ice. Not to mention that to get through the fields of trees you had to tromp through snow that was over a foot deep.

We had probably been there close to an hour and were no closer to finding a tree. Half the group had left the hunt to return to the warm embrace of the bonfire near the entrance. The remaining members of the hunting party were quickly losing steam. So I called it. We were done. Without a tree.

And you know what? It was fine. We’d had fun together for awhile. We had driven up watching old Christmas movies like we love to. We’d taken pictures in the beautiful snow. There was still hot cocoa to look forward to. And we could return to look another day.

But let me tell you–a few years ago it probably would have ended very differently. I probably would have seen it as a failure to return empty-handed after we’d searched for so long. The day likely would have ended with me getting frustrated and making everyone else miserable as I forced us to search and settle on a tree. I wouldn’t have recognized that we’d had fun and carried on with our tradition despite the fact that for now we remained treeless.

simplifying the season means refocusing

If you can’t get past the word simplify then try using the word refocus or prioritize instead. Think about the things that are really important to you during the holidays. Is it family time? Then maybe you can skip the work party or save the girl’s night out for after the New Year. If you want to take treats to the neighbors but hate baking there’s no rule that says all treats must be homemade. God invented bakeries and small shops for a reason, wink wink.

I think it’s so easy in today’s culture of living through social media to get caught up in stuff. We focus in on what other people are apparently doing (you know, because we see such a tiny snippet of their day on social media) and think that’s the norm and that’s what we have to do. That we have to go big with decorations. Make all the homemade treats. Go over the top with The Elf on the Shelf. Don’t forget the magic Santa footprints. Make ten trips to drive around looking at Christmas lights.

All of that is okay if that’s what brings you joy. If all of that is what brings your family closer together. If you can get through all of your commitments without going crazy. But I hope that you realize that all of that isn’t what Christmas is about. I hope you know that your family will still have a memorable Christmas if you do things differently. What matters most is not what makes the season magical for someone else, but what makes the season magical for you.

Check out how some of my other friends feel about simplifying the season:

Work It Mommy

The Keele Deal

Live Well Play Together