A lot of people have asked me about how I’m feeling being so pregnant during the current state of things. Followers on social media have sent me messages, friends have checked in, and strangers at the store are all quick to voice their concern. I’ve thought many times about getting on Instagram and addressing all these questions. However, anytime I really started sorting out my feelings I realized it would take too long. Despite being so optimistic a week or two ago I’ve had to face facts. My reality is that I will be giving birth during a global pandemic. My reality is that I’ll be giving birth in the hospital where the first confirmed death from COVID-19 occurred in our state.
how I feel about giving birth during a global pandemic
I’m angry
Yes, I’m angry. Some of you will say this is selfish because people are dying. I say that you’re allowed to have feelings. Any and every type of feeling. I’m not going to apologize for having feelings. And I. Am. Angry. This is my last pregnancy and it is rotten timing. I’m angry that my kids won’t be able to meet their sibling in the hospital because of current restrictions. It may seem trivial, but I’m angry that my normal “end of pregnancy rituals” won’t be happening because of current recommendations.
My husband had to close his dental office except for emergencies. So I’m angry that that means he might not be able to be around when the baby comes. Or maybe he will because who knows how long all this will last? Like so many other families, money is going to get extremely tight soon if it’s not already. That’s the last thing I want to be worrying about right now. And it’s not just him, what about his employees? Closed businesses means nobody gets paid. Some people ignore or don’t seem to understand that the societal impact of so many businesses being closed for extended time periods potentially could be just as detrimental as a virus. So I’m angry.
I’m annoyed
Pregnancy hormones aren’t helping whatsoever but I am so annoyed. So annoyed with the politics and the blaming and the ignorance. I’m annoyed at the people on social media who stand on their soap boxes telling everyone to STAY HOME. As if everyone doesn’t already know that’s what they’re supposed to do. Guess what people? You’re not going to change anyone’s mind. The shelter in place mandates and social distancing guidelines are like any other hot-button topic–like abortion or vaccinations. People have their own opinions. You can yell and stomp your feet all day long. You can share all the information (real or false) that you want. But people will continue to do what they want to do. It doesn’t make it right, but that’s the way people are.
I’m annoyed with the people that think I should be a hermit because I’m pregnant. No, I’m not afraid to go out in public without a face mask on. Necessary errands still need to be run (food, gas, etc) and I’ll take the proper precautions. However, I will not let fear get the better of me. Current guidelines are that people have been advised not to wear masks unless they have symptoms or are an at-risk (or caregiver for an at-risk) individual. I’ll keep the personal protective equipment for those that really need it.
I’m overwhelmed
Usually by this point in pregnancy I’d be completely ready to go. I’d have over a week’s worth of freezer meals stocked. But the long grocery lines and panicked hoarding have made that hard. I’d have all my postpartum supplies ready to go. Again, current shopping situations and Amazon backorders have made that tricky. The blog posts that I’ve stockpiled have had to be rescheduled multiple times because no one wants to read travel posts right now. Gee, I wonder why.
I’m also overwhelmed at the thought of possibly giving birth without my husband by my side. Several of you have reached out and said that they already know of hospitals that aren’t letting anyone else in the delivery room. As someone who doesn’t get epidurals I literally need him to get through the pain. During the transition stage of labor him applying counter-pressure to my hips is the only thing that helps. As of right now I am still allowed one support person in the room with me. But things have changed drastically over the past two weeks–who knows what will happen in one or two more?
and yes–I’m scared
I am scared but not in the way that you probably think. I’m scared of public panic and ever-changing policies. If this goes on much longer I foresee that hoarding will get worse and we may not be able to feed our children. Or my husband might have to close his office for not just weeks but months or more. That means no income and again–no food. I have concerns about mass rioting and looting. I’m scared that people are letting fear override their faith. That people are following the irrational masses rather than the rational truth. I think back to how 9/11 changed things and I’m scared for what all this means for our future.
15 Responses to giving birth during a global pandemic-how I feel about it
Praying for and your family Justine. This totally stinks and I can only imagine it’s magnified for all those expecting.
My heart breaks that your little ones won’t be able to visit at the hospital. As a mom I know that visit is priceless.
Thank you so much for your comment Jessica! There’s a part of me that thinks “these are all total first world problems”—BUT I still think I’m allowed to feel how I feel. And I am so bummed about them not getting to meet their sibling in the hospital. You’re right, it’s a special time.
Thank you for sharing your truth, and you’re right- you are allowed (and have EVERY right) to have those feelings. I’d be pissed too. I’m praying for you guys. I’m so sorry so much of the end of pregnancy (and post baby) excitement has been ripped from under your feet. I think of my pregnant friends often and wish there was something I could do. I’m here if you ever need to talk. Sending so much love your way.
I’m glad you decided to share your thoughts on this. I can relate to you in many ways. I’m having my last baby and I’m only doing this twice, so I feel like a lot of the joy and excitement I felt before is gone. I also can relate on how you feel about your husband’s job. The economic impact is on my mind a lot too. My husband is an airline pilot and we still don’t know what the outcome of all of this will be for him. I’ll keep you in my prayers and no matter what there will be some beautiful babies born during this time!
I’m right there with you 100%!!! Praying for you and all of us scared mama’s!!! ❤️🙏🏻😘
Thank you so much!
I’m due in the next two weeks as well, and I’m feeling all the same things, anger, frustration, and annoyance, and of course a little scared because of all the uncertainty.
It’s such a hard time right now. Best of luck to you!!
I am due the 18th of this month and it is my first pregnancy. I am so relieved to read your post and know that someone else has the exact same feelings as I do. My mom is devastated that she can’t be in the delivery room (I am an only child and may not be able to have more children) with me and I’m also praying that I can at least have my husband there when the time comes. Thank you for being open and honest! Best wishes and I’ll be praying for you!!
We’re due the same day! And I’m so sorry momma, that’s so hard—for you and for your mom. I know how important that is for the grandparents. Prayers for you as well.
I totally get where you’re coming from because I have the same feelings. This is our first and only child due to medical reasons. We tried for 15 years before we had this miracle baby and now the one thing we have looked forward to for a very long time will most likely be the opposite of what we have looked forward too.
Oh I’m so sorry. I realize that at the end of the day all that matters is having a healthy baby, but it doesn’t make it any easier when your plans get changed and you don’t have the control you thought you would.
I’m so glad to have read your post! I’m due within 2 weeks and I identify with all your points. I’m relieved I’m not the only one. I’m definitely most afraid of the panic and response than the cause. I’ve been fasting from any form of news and most social media to enjoy what’s left of my pregnancy. God bless you and prayers for your family as well!
That is such a good idea! I definitely took a step back from social media for a couple weeks to help keep my sanity in check. Even now I have days where I have to sign off and ignore my phone for awhile.
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